It was the night before yesterday that I waited for him until he got home from a party with his England friends at 1:20am. I called him and we talked things out.
He said it killed him to see me crying and suffering because of him. He said it's almost impossible for us to be together in the future and that we totally come from two different worlds. He said the more I get cool-er, rich-er, crazier with all the technology stuffs, the more we are apart and he doesn't want to be stay near me. He said he is just an ordinary guy and I am not. What happened if my pRents force me to get married next year? He said he can handle it because he has been through it but what about me? What if he gets married next year, can I handle it? Even just a tiny argument, I cant even control my feeling so how am I gonna control what's even bigger in the future? He told me not love him so much because I'll give him presure. He doesn't want to see me sacrifice for him by sitting there waiting for him while he's busy. He said it's better if we stop now so the pain won't get bigger.
I felt almost half dead when he said it. I knew all about those things but didn't we already talked that we will make the best out of our remaining time and leave those headache thing to the future? We have been back together again just a few months and you want to tell me we can't go on? It's too fast, faster than I expected. We still have plenty of time to figure things out and be together. I can't let you go now, I really can't. There are so many things I want to do with you and I want to record all the memories we have together and embed it in my heart.
Now that you ignore me completely, didn't talk to me, didn't look at me, and being cold-hearted to me, I can still endure it but you know, I felt I'm almost half dead. Every morning when I wake up, I feel this dreadful pain inside my chest and it's craving a whole day by day in there. My world is getting dark again. Please, as I'm begging you, be just what we were, the loving and happy couples and leave those decisions to fate.
